Wrapped in a fluorescent green blanket, I'm sitting by our wood-burning stove resolved to write. Not a Facebook status. Not a glowing recap of our Christmas holiday. Not even a list of New Year's resolutions.
I'm tired. Taking a college class pulled me out of an emotional rut that had deepened by summertime, but I never figured out how to do Christmas with teenage and young adult sons. It's been wonderful to have all four of them home for over a week, but I miss our daughter, who's been serving an L.D.S. mission for almost 15 months.
Only our youngest showed much interest in a few traditions we've maintained over the years. He sang/danced in a half-dozen venues that motivated me to try to maintain a calm atmosphere. I didn't always succeed. Think last-minute quests for a lost choir t-shirt and digging through boxes for a pair of slacks that were once part of a suit I'd bought new for an older son. No luck. He ended up wearing different shades of formal black when he sang a solo in a local performance of the Messiah. It worked, but I wonder how we managed when Christmas concerts were multiplied by three kids.
With ADHD and Asperger's added to the holiday mix, frequent moments of chaos inevitably ensued. I've tempered my expectations about peaceful Christmas Eve programs or elaborate service projects. Embracing the humor of situations works much better instead and we enjoyed plenty of laughs.
Besides splurging to see The Hobbit, it was hard to think of something that everyone (with their vastly different personalities and interests) would enjoy. Mandatory participation defeats the purpose of activities, in my book. (Exception: attending family Christmas parties. Now in their seventies and eighties, our parents won't be around long.)
In light of recent publicity about the Connecticut school shooter who had Asperger's, I hope our high-schooler's peers are kind. I've read a couple of blog posts by other moms with kids on the autism spectrum. Many of their thoughts echo mine. I hope society and future employers value our son's gifts, which surpass his challenges. There's got to be a place for him in this world.
I am tired. But 2013 is here and I have noticed the hand of the Lord in my life. Because of Him, I'm stronger and better-prepared to face the future than I was twelve months ago.
Let the new year begin one day at a time.
d
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